Yesterday marked my half way point for this journey. Today, therefore, is the first day that I start the downhill slide. It's the first time that I have less days in the future of this trip than I do in the past. I made it to the top of that mountain, metaphorically and quite literally, and can now see not only how far I have come, but also what the trip down will entail. Honestly, it's kind of cool.
The trip up started rough. I thought it would be a lot easier, and was surprised the first few days when I needed more love and encouragement than I thought I would. But it was phone calls home, inspiring messages from friends who had done this before, and a general sense of support that helped me get started. And once I was off, I was really off. Naturally, I stumbled a lot on the way, but I also figured out, or remembered, that I really love to learn. I love stopping and thinking about things as they happen, and figuring out what that means in the bigger picture. I like figuring out the language, simply because it means that survival is actually possible. And I like my companions along the way. I realized the hard way that not everyone in the DR is like Freddy and Theany, but rather that they are the cream of the crop. It took some getting used to to realize that there are people here that arent nice and that are only looking out for themselves. I forgot that this place is just like the rest of the world, full of beauty and hardship; Freddy and Theany make it easy to think that everything is as calm, beautiful and thoughtful as they are. By looking at the poverty that exists here, I was also able to see the poverty that exists at home. That while here people may not have shoes or clean clothes or the basic needs, they have a love that is often dismissed at home. They realize the importance in relationships and stopping to think about other people and their needs. Which made ME think; what is worse, the poverty of things, or the poverty of spirit? The trip up created more questions than answers, and ended up requiring a much different path than I had originally planned. Instead of building houses everyday and working on my physical labor skills, I'm doing a lot of sitting and talking, translating and holding hands. And somehow, it just fits.
So now I'm at the top, right? I'm at that point where you can't climb any higher and the only thing taller than you are the trees you're standing under. And from here, the view down and out is incredible. Looking back, I can see where I came from. I can see that the volunteers who came and visited changed my path; that because of their questions and perspectives, I got to learn more than I otherwise would have. But I can also see a rough outline of what's coming; what I have to look forward to. And now that I can speak Spanish ( kind of) it all makes a little more sense. I can see the holidays that I'm looking forward to experiencing here; holy week, Easter Sunday, and the day of Trujillo's Assassination. I can see the ceremonies I will be privy to watching; election days, a community members ordination as a deacon, and weekend baseball games. I can see the relationships that I'm excited to keep up, while also knowing there are others hiding that will change me for the better, just like the others have. But what's most exciting is that a lot of the journey is hidden. Because I've done half of it, I have an idea and am excited for it, but I also know that there is a lot to come that I can't even imagine.
And then, in the distance, is home. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to going home. To seeing my family and friends, and eating as much funfetti cake with funfetti frosting as possible ( the one thing I crave is the one thing you can't ship). At heart, I always have been and always will be a home body, which is really why traveling is so much more important for me. Will I be sad to leave here? Absolutely. I'm leaving a place I've come to know and love in so many different ways. I'll be leaving a family that has taken me in like you can't imagine. But, again, what makes it easier, is knowing that going home isn't really saying goodbye. I'll actually take Spanish classes so that my verb conjugations make sense. I'll take merengue classes so that I can move from being okay to actually having hips that move like Shakira. We know I have the goods, I just have to move em. And I'll spread the word. I'll talk my eyes out until everyone understands the importance of this place and the need to visit, if not to help others than to help ourselves. Because, in reality, the journey doesn't end. It just changes and becomes an international trip. Because there is no way to separate the me here from the me at home. Because I need both parts of the world to be my true self. Because abandoning one means abandoning me; something I left behind my freshman year of college along with the bad boyfriend, and have promised myself I would never do again.
From here, I can see where I came from, and can guess at what's going to come. And instead of being afraid, for at least today, I'm grateful. Grateful that I've made it this far, and grateful that I've got more time, but that home is in sight. Oh, and I guess I'm kind of grateful for you and your support. Because you, whether you like I or not, are the next step in this chain. You're the next step in spreading the word and making change. Pass this blog on, and pass the word on. To just one other person. Show someone at school, in the office or a dance class ( oh and stand over their shoulder to make sure they read it).And then maybe, just maybe, we can create a worldwide journey.
I hope you enjoy your view from the top of the mountain as much as I enjoy mine,
Sabrina
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