Queen had it right when they sang about riding their bicycles. I may not have understood the song the first, third, or twentieth time that I heard it, but who really understands queen? Then, on my way back from the capital yesterday, the meaning hit me and all of a sudden, I wanted to ride my bicycle. It was the answer to all my problems. I wanted to ride it and I wanted to ride it now... Or at least after I bought one. With a light. And a helmet. Maybe a bell.
Here is the progression of how Queen and I came to be one of the same mind: the last few days my biggest fear is that my time here won't mean anything. I came to volunteer, and in week two I still haven't started and it's not looking like I will in the immediate future. This is true for a couple of reasons. First, I thought I could build houses with ADESJO whenever my heart desired. They have one always in progress, right? Wrong. The organization only builds when a group comes to volunteer, and I can't really crash every groups visit, although I would like to. I've realized that coming alone has a much different feel then coming with a group. With an organization, everything is pre-arranged, with tasks laid out and schedules maintained. Not so much on your own. The other problem is that I have to rely on Freddy and his motorcycle for transportation anywhere. Since I hate asking for things, and he has a lot of other things to do ( aka raise a family and have a job), I've been hanging out at home a lot. While I love being with his family, I came here to help others and learn from them, and right now I just have a lot of people taking care of me. It's kind of driving me nuts.
My original solution to all of this was to buy my own moto/scooter. The problem is that I can't drive one, and visions of me crashing danced in me head, with the absence of sugar plums and hopes of Santa clause. But then,WOW! It came! I may not be able to drive a motorized vehicle, but i sure can ride a bike! Thanks to practice in the UCONN parking lot, some bruises and lost training wheels I am now a pro. If I had a bike, I could bring myself everywhere. I would control my own destiny. I could teach english at a school at night,visit the nursing home in the morning and do it all without asking for a thing. It would solve all my dilemmas. Now, I just have to figure out where to buy one, and to convince Freddy that I won't crash. Or get lost.
I'm hoping that within the next week, queen and I will be ready to roll. After all, they do promise that fat bottomed girls will be riding today. Keep your fingers crossed. And sing the anthem for good luck.
Sabrina
Saturday, January 28, 2012
This is Their Every Day
In the last few weeks I have developed about a hundred witty blog ideas. As I sat down to begin writing them today, I realized that they really aren't as funny if you don't have a background of where I am living, who I see everyday and what the view from my window really is. So please excuse me as I take a break from my ever entertaining sarcasm and humor to describe my everyday life here, as it is so far.
Let me start with the people, because there are a lot of them and they are the center of my life here. I live with Freddy and Argentina, the hilarious and loving dominicans. Argentina is a teacher in one of the villages, or campos, and Freddy works with ADESJO. Together, they have four children: Joel who is 16, Manuelo who is 14, Joan coming in at 12 and their daughter Joelle rounding out the pack at 11 years old. I am closest with Manuelo simply because he thinks my Spanish is amusing, and he doesn't get frustrated when I make no logical sense. We also like to arm wrestle and make funny faces. I think Joelle views me as a strange being, watching as I do my sit ups and just staring in wonder when I come back heaving from a run. She has yet to be impressed with my laundry skills. The seven of us live in a one floor house, with two bedrooms. I was given Freddy and Argentinas bedroom, while the three boys and the two adults sleep in one room. Yes, I am still on a guilt trip about this but as I have come to learn, there is no saying no. Whether it is having a whole room to yourself, having seconds and third helpings of everything or having your own hair washed by anorr, no is never an answer.
Attached to frddy's house by a covered little passage is another one floor living space. Here, we have Cindy and her husband, who is Freddy's brother,along with their two kids who are 2 and 3 and finally starting to warm up to me. Grandma Lydia and grandpa (insert name,I'm not sure) also live here. I think Joelle may also sleep in this house, but I can't seem to keep track. In addition to these 12 main players, the house is always occupied by neighborhood friends,relatives,chickens, turkeys and the sounds of dogs and cows. Needless to say the silence of the suburbs stops in the US and in no way has found itself over the ocean.
Days here are warm, with the nights cooling down pretty significantly. I've been eating my own body weight in food, and have tried to run some it off, much to the confusion of the neighbors whose dogs chase me as I go down the street. Showering consists of a bucket and good aim. I do get hot water, as I proclaimed the I am a child and can't handle agua frio without screaming.
Most days, I do a lot of hanging around and listening. I've gotten over the feelings of anxiety that persisted the first few days, although sometimes they return in waves. When I am overcome with the fear of another earthquake, with the thought of smelling for 5 months, of eating rice everyday, of falling off the motorcycle/ scooter we take everywhere or of other natural disasters, I remind myself that this is how they live everyday. The people here, kind, sympathetic and always loving, cannot escape back home. This is their home. These are their anxieties everyday, and they keep living. They keep surviving, smiling and drinking coffee. And I remember that if they can do this for years, generations, and centuries, I can do it for five months. This is their everyday, and For me it is just a brief moment of learning. I can do this, because I have to. Because they have, and I am capable.
Loving you from my seat in the sun,
Sabrina
Let me start with the people, because there are a lot of them and they are the center of my life here. I live with Freddy and Argentina, the hilarious and loving dominicans. Argentina is a teacher in one of the villages, or campos, and Freddy works with ADESJO. Together, they have four children: Joel who is 16, Manuelo who is 14, Joan coming in at 12 and their daughter Joelle rounding out the pack at 11 years old. I am closest with Manuelo simply because he thinks my Spanish is amusing, and he doesn't get frustrated when I make no logical sense. We also like to arm wrestle and make funny faces. I think Joelle views me as a strange being, watching as I do my sit ups and just staring in wonder when I come back heaving from a run. She has yet to be impressed with my laundry skills. The seven of us live in a one floor house, with two bedrooms. I was given Freddy and Argentinas bedroom, while the three boys and the two adults sleep in one room. Yes, I am still on a guilt trip about this but as I have come to learn, there is no saying no. Whether it is having a whole room to yourself, having seconds and third helpings of everything or having your own hair washed by anorr, no is never an answer.
Attached to frddy's house by a covered little passage is another one floor living space. Here, we have Cindy and her husband, who is Freddy's brother,along with their two kids who are 2 and 3 and finally starting to warm up to me. Grandma Lydia and grandpa (insert name,I'm not sure) also live here. I think Joelle may also sleep in this house, but I can't seem to keep track. In addition to these 12 main players, the house is always occupied by neighborhood friends,relatives,chickens, turkeys and the sounds of dogs and cows. Needless to say the silence of the suburbs stops in the US and in no way has found itself over the ocean.
Days here are warm, with the nights cooling down pretty significantly. I've been eating my own body weight in food, and have tried to run some it off, much to the confusion of the neighbors whose dogs chase me as I go down the street. Showering consists of a bucket and good aim. I do get hot water, as I proclaimed the I am a child and can't handle agua frio without screaming.
Most days, I do a lot of hanging around and listening. I've gotten over the feelings of anxiety that persisted the first few days, although sometimes they return in waves. When I am overcome with the fear of another earthquake, with the thought of smelling for 5 months, of eating rice everyday, of falling off the motorcycle/ scooter we take everywhere or of other natural disasters, I remind myself that this is how they live everyday. The people here, kind, sympathetic and always loving, cannot escape back home. This is their home. These are their anxieties everyday, and they keep living. They keep surviving, smiling and drinking coffee. And I remember that if they can do this for years, generations, and centuries, I can do it for five months. This is their everyday, and For me it is just a brief moment of learning. I can do this, because I have to. Because they have, and I am capable.
Loving you from my seat in the sun,
Sabrina
Friday, January 20, 2012
Advice from a Novice
Hello my Friends!
I have officially made it to the Dominican Republic, and am excited to be writing you this post from my host family´s uncle´s house...a little confusing but it works! If I were going to explain the last few days in detail, this post would be long, filled of mixed emotions and just too much for anyone. SO. I´m going to break it down into some advice that is useful for all traveling, or staying. Read on, mis amigas.
1. The night before your plane leaves, NEVER go out with Brendan Thomas Lavery. Even if he organizes a surprise party for you including karaoke, the best of friends, and chinese food. You say no. You thank him, and walk out before the first, second, third, fourth and fifth drinks are put in your hand. Walking out will avoid a ninety second timed breakdown in the middle of a bar, spilled drinks, photo documentation of the entire event, and a miserable hangover the following morning. Granted, you will also miss the best night of your life as organized by the best brother, so take the advice with a grain of salt. And a margarita.
2. Pack a lot of tissues. You will cry on the plane, in the bathroom, getting your bags and basically for the first four days. I don´t ever remember being as close to tears for as long as I was this week, but apparently I do the same thing every time I travel. Homesickness is real, and is powerful. It can make you feel weak, as if your decision was a mistake and like everything is muted in color. But a good pack of kleenex travel tissues can solve all of this with a quick wipe, followed by another. They also double as good toilet paper in dire situations.
3. Do NOT give up your seat on the airplane. If a large woman demands that you move in a foreign langugage, shake your head and say HELL no. It may make you seem rude, however you will avoid a miserable flight where the woman proceeds to fall asleep on you, refuses to move and then gets mad when you ask to go to the bathroom after three hours. It is not worth being nice. Never ever give up your aisle seat.
4. If your bag is not on the circular thing and you are close to tears because you don´t know where it is and are trying to remember thë word for suitcase, chances are it´s actually three feet away from you because someone took it off the circle thinking it was theirs, and then left it to die. In such situation, after you find said suitcase, refuse help from a man with a badge and a cart, no matter what. He is not in fact being nice because you are a crying white girl, but instead because he wants a tip, which he fails to mention until the end. There goes 8 American dollars.
5. Just like homesickness is real, so is culture shock. Going on a service trip and using bucket showers for a week is fun, adventurous and exhilerating. Realizing that this is how you are going to shower for the next five months is overwhelming. It takes about five days to get over the hump and start to think in long terms, but be prepared for the shock. Also remember that things that seem impossible to live with, or without, seem to become easier over time. For those Type A buddies like me out there, just make it through the first five days. The six day it really does get better, and those huge obstacles now look like little mole hills.
6. Don´t be afraid to call home. Staying in touch with ones you love makes it easier to be away. You don´t need to be strong for them, because chances are they knew you were going to call and breakdown even when you thought you were stronger. It seems like they actually know you better than you know yourself, and are already waiting patiently for the phone to ring.
7. Be prepared to understand nothing, and be confused at all times. Even though you made it to Rosetta Stone level three, it means nothing. This is exhausting, as you will never know what is coming, or what you are even talking about. Buy a spanish english dictionary and just hope that eventually you will learn by osmosis. Once I come up with a better solution, I´ll share it.
And last, BUT MOST IMPORTANT, when asked if you have a ¨novio¨, or boyfriend, answer yes. As soon as you admit that you don´t, it becomes everyones mission to find you one, and that gets awkward quickly. So before leaving do yourself a favor and buy an engagement ring to wear at all times. Cracker Jack boxes are a great place to start looking.
These last few days have been a whirlwind, but I am doing my best to get through, and enjoy what is coming. I haven´t really started volunteering yet, but am working on that just as I am working on finding a shampoo that doesn´t make my hair feel like straw. Baby steps, right?
Sending my love from across the ocean,
Sabrina
I have officially made it to the Dominican Republic, and am excited to be writing you this post from my host family´s uncle´s house...a little confusing but it works! If I were going to explain the last few days in detail, this post would be long, filled of mixed emotions and just too much for anyone. SO. I´m going to break it down into some advice that is useful for all traveling, or staying. Read on, mis amigas.
1. The night before your plane leaves, NEVER go out with Brendan Thomas Lavery. Even if he organizes a surprise party for you including karaoke, the best of friends, and chinese food. You say no. You thank him, and walk out before the first, second, third, fourth and fifth drinks are put in your hand. Walking out will avoid a ninety second timed breakdown in the middle of a bar, spilled drinks, photo documentation of the entire event, and a miserable hangover the following morning. Granted, you will also miss the best night of your life as organized by the best brother, so take the advice with a grain of salt. And a margarita.
2. Pack a lot of tissues. You will cry on the plane, in the bathroom, getting your bags and basically for the first four days. I don´t ever remember being as close to tears for as long as I was this week, but apparently I do the same thing every time I travel. Homesickness is real, and is powerful. It can make you feel weak, as if your decision was a mistake and like everything is muted in color. But a good pack of kleenex travel tissues can solve all of this with a quick wipe, followed by another. They also double as good toilet paper in dire situations.
3. Do NOT give up your seat on the airplane. If a large woman demands that you move in a foreign langugage, shake your head and say HELL no. It may make you seem rude, however you will avoid a miserable flight where the woman proceeds to fall asleep on you, refuses to move and then gets mad when you ask to go to the bathroom after three hours. It is not worth being nice. Never ever give up your aisle seat.
4. If your bag is not on the circular thing and you are close to tears because you don´t know where it is and are trying to remember thë word for suitcase, chances are it´s actually three feet away from you because someone took it off the circle thinking it was theirs, and then left it to die. In such situation, after you find said suitcase, refuse help from a man with a badge and a cart, no matter what. He is not in fact being nice because you are a crying white girl, but instead because he wants a tip, which he fails to mention until the end. There goes 8 American dollars.
5. Just like homesickness is real, so is culture shock. Going on a service trip and using bucket showers for a week is fun, adventurous and exhilerating. Realizing that this is how you are going to shower for the next five months is overwhelming. It takes about five days to get over the hump and start to think in long terms, but be prepared for the shock. Also remember that things that seem impossible to live with, or without, seem to become easier over time. For those Type A buddies like me out there, just make it through the first five days. The six day it really does get better, and those huge obstacles now look like little mole hills.
6. Don´t be afraid to call home. Staying in touch with ones you love makes it easier to be away. You don´t need to be strong for them, because chances are they knew you were going to call and breakdown even when you thought you were stronger. It seems like they actually know you better than you know yourself, and are already waiting patiently for the phone to ring.
7. Be prepared to understand nothing, and be confused at all times. Even though you made it to Rosetta Stone level three, it means nothing. This is exhausting, as you will never know what is coming, or what you are even talking about. Buy a spanish english dictionary and just hope that eventually you will learn by osmosis. Once I come up with a better solution, I´ll share it.
And last, BUT MOST IMPORTANT, when asked if you have a ¨novio¨, or boyfriend, answer yes. As soon as you admit that you don´t, it becomes everyones mission to find you one, and that gets awkward quickly. So before leaving do yourself a favor and buy an engagement ring to wear at all times. Cracker Jack boxes are a great place to start looking.
These last few days have been a whirlwind, but I am doing my best to get through, and enjoy what is coming. I haven´t really started volunteering yet, but am working on that just as I am working on finding a shampoo that doesn´t make my hair feel like straw. Baby steps, right?
Sending my love from across the ocean,
Sabrina
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I Dreamed a Dream
When people talk about following your heart, and achieving your dreams, conversation typically centers on how exciting the adventure will be, how content one will feel, and how proud one should be of their accomplishment. Talk is of the positive, of the good that comes out of it, of the moments where we can look back and say, man, I really did do it. Yeah. Who forgot to mention the heavy dose of anxiety that accompanies all of that?
This last week has been...interesting. A lot of it has been filled with positives. It is an amazing feeling to think that I set a goal for myself two years ago, and seven months after I graduated, I am following through with it. I am actually following what my heart desires in a world where it can be easy to fall astray, and forget what it is we truly love to do. All that is fine and dandy, but it isn't the whole story. This week has also been filled with fear and anxiety, some just and some unjust. The fear of whether or not I had enough tank tops, followed by the purchase of seven, was probably unjust. As was the anxiety that I wouldn't be able to eat chocolate for the next five months, again followed by an ungodly amount of consumption. My stretchy pants are still mad at me for that one.
Along with the unjust fears, however, are the anxieties that are true and pure. What if this adventure isn't want I wanted? What if I'm not cut out for whatever is to come? What happens if I arrive in the airport and no one is there to greet me? Or if I am detained in five months because the embassy lied and I actually do need a visa? I'm not exactly prepared to hitchhike across the Dominican, or be in a jail for six months because my status is unknown. And I don't really know enough spanish to suave my way out of that situation.
Following your dreams is scary. Fulfilling what you set out to do is frightening. There's a lot of build up, anticipation and expectation that may or may not be met. And the conclusion. Fulfilling a dream also means an end of a dream, and the start of another. Endings are scary, as are beginnings. Dreams, by nature, are scary.
So in this week, as I prepare to go, a lot is going through my head. I'm excited. I'm ready to go and work in whatever way I can and have a life changing experience. I'm sad. Sad to leave behind my friends from school, my family, and the friends from home that I never thought I would have to begin with. And I'm nervous. Nervous because this is a new chapter, because things are really happening, because I have created a dream, stuck with it, and am going to see it through to completion. And I feel supported. By all the people in my life that have held me up, and made this dream really seem like a reality. I wouldn't be getting on the plane without the support that has been there for the last few years. So while I may be leaving you all behind physically, know that I carry you all with me in my heart as I go. Because without you, there wouldn't have been a dream to dream. Thank you.
...Oh, and if you want to share in some of the anxieties and fears, that's okay with me too. Take a lil weight off my shoulders.
Saying goodbye from America,
Siobhan
This last week has been...interesting. A lot of it has been filled with positives. It is an amazing feeling to think that I set a goal for myself two years ago, and seven months after I graduated, I am following through with it. I am actually following what my heart desires in a world where it can be easy to fall astray, and forget what it is we truly love to do. All that is fine and dandy, but it isn't the whole story. This week has also been filled with fear and anxiety, some just and some unjust. The fear of whether or not I had enough tank tops, followed by the purchase of seven, was probably unjust. As was the anxiety that I wouldn't be able to eat chocolate for the next five months, again followed by an ungodly amount of consumption. My stretchy pants are still mad at me for that one.
Along with the unjust fears, however, are the anxieties that are true and pure. What if this adventure isn't want I wanted? What if I'm not cut out for whatever is to come? What happens if I arrive in the airport and no one is there to greet me? Or if I am detained in five months because the embassy lied and I actually do need a visa? I'm not exactly prepared to hitchhike across the Dominican, or be in a jail for six months because my status is unknown. And I don't really know enough spanish to suave my way out of that situation.
Following your dreams is scary. Fulfilling what you set out to do is frightening. There's a lot of build up, anticipation and expectation that may or may not be met. And the conclusion. Fulfilling a dream also means an end of a dream, and the start of another. Endings are scary, as are beginnings. Dreams, by nature, are scary.
So in this week, as I prepare to go, a lot is going through my head. I'm excited. I'm ready to go and work in whatever way I can and have a life changing experience. I'm sad. Sad to leave behind my friends from school, my family, and the friends from home that I never thought I would have to begin with. And I'm nervous. Nervous because this is a new chapter, because things are really happening, because I have created a dream, stuck with it, and am going to see it through to completion. And I feel supported. By all the people in my life that have held me up, and made this dream really seem like a reality. I wouldn't be getting on the plane without the support that has been there for the last few years. So while I may be leaving you all behind physically, know that I carry you all with me in my heart as I go. Because without you, there wouldn't have been a dream to dream. Thank you.
...Oh, and if you want to share in some of the anxieties and fears, that's okay with me too. Take a lil weight off my shoulders.
Saying goodbye from America,
Siobhan
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